Tips for Fathers
of Twin Babies
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Be as involved as possible from
the beginning of your babies’ lives. This
will help you establish your role as a father, ease your
wife’s desperation, and most importantly help to form a
unique relationship with each baby from day one.
Babyhood is a wonderful time to begin to know each child
as a single being, apart from his twin and his mother.
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Help your wife spend alone time with each baby by
spending your own alone time with the other child.
This way you’ll both feel uniquely connected to
each child. You might want to establish a routine
whereby you take turns taking walks, doing errands, or
just hanging out with one baby at a time.
-
Make your own plans for alone time
with each baby, choosing activities you and each child
enjoy. This way,
you won’t feel as if you’re being controlled by your
wife or on the receiving end of her directives.
-
Let your wife know that you are
supportive of her getting the outside help she may need.
New moms tend to be hard on themselves and may
view the need for help as a measure of their own
inadequacy. Help your wife understand that this is
definitely not the case.
-
Make time to be together with your
wife—just the two of you.
With all that you’re both going through, you need
experiences that help you reconnect and enjoy each
other’s company away from your babies.
-
Think about reconnecting primarily with physical
affection rather than sexual contact in the initial
period after the babies’ births. With
patience and empathy, it will undoubtedly lead to
greater intimacy.
-
When your wife reveals how distraught she is by all
that is expected of her as a new mother of twins, don’t
feel you need to come up with specific solutions.
She will appreciate just being listened to. Your
empathic approach will be vital to developing a healthy
relationship with your children as well.
-
Understand that the greatest gift you can give your wife
is your time, patience, love, and affirmation.
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